How Your Sex Fantasies Stack Up to His
Sexual fantasies can be a healthy expression of your sexuality, and are very common. Sharing fantasies can help a couple reignite their sex life and add some passion between them. Many pornographic movies are based on common fantasies and some couples even enjoy sharing these movies before sex.
When you do share your fantasies with your man and listen to his, you may be surprised at how different they are. A woman’s fantasies may revolve around very sexual situations but also romantic settings and scenarios. A woman may fantasize about being seduced by her tennis instructor or having sex with her pool boy. Her fantasies may also include heroic actions on the part of men; being rescued from a burning building or being saved from an attack by street thugs are common scenarios for women.
For men, their fantasies are often more overtly sexual and even pornographic in nature. They may fantasize about needing to “punish” their secretary with a good spanking, or being the massage therapist that takes too many liberties with a client. Some fantasies of men are also dangerous and even illegal; men may fantasize about taking advantage of a woman while she sleeps or about being part of an orgy with complete strangers. This is because women may enjoy fantasies about romance whereas men may enjoy fantasies about power and control; a doctor has complete power and control over a patient, as does that boss who metes out corporate punishment to his secretary.
How do you bridge this gap between the typical fantasy for a man and the fantasies you may have? The first thing to remember is that you should never act out anything that you find to be downright distasteful or dangerous. Compromises need to be made, but your safety and your self-esteem still need to be preserved. That being said, you might also think about indulging your man in some fantasies that are outside your comfort zone, remembering that they are just fantasies and safe between the two of you. For example, your man may never take advantage of a woman while she’s asleep in real life, but it’s very safe to act out that fantasy between you since you won’t really be asleep.
You might also consider indulging in some fantasies that you both enjoy and just seeing where they lead. You may not like the idea of being spanked but don’t mind pretending to be the sexy secretary. Start out with that fantasy and allow it to unfold, knowing that you can stop it at any time. You may be surprised at what you enjoy once you begin a scenario.
A compromise might also mean that your man indulges you in some romantic fantasies in exchange for you indulging him. The sexy secretary travels with her boss to a conference and finds her hotel room covered in rose petals. The massage therapist can take some liberties but more slowly so you, the client, can get in the mood.
As with all other parts of your relationship, communication and trust are both key when it comes to your fantasies. Talk about them and use them as a way to get closer together, and to enjoy a more happy and satisfying sex life.