Is Unconditional Love Healthy?
We’ve all heard about unconditional love. In fact, this is a topic that has come up time and again over the last two decades. We have been told to love unconditionally. The problem is that not all of us understand exactly what it means to love unconditionally. This misconception has resulted in continued bad behavior in some individuals.
It is very important to understand that you can love your partner unconditionally. However, you don’t have to tolerate his or her bad behavior unconditionally. There is a difference.
If you love a person unconditionally it means you are prepared to continue loving them through thick and thin. It does not mean you have to put up with (accept) bad behavior. People who do that are really doormats. They keep on accepting bad behavior time and again. Very often it is you who must carry the responsibility of that bad behavior and not the person causing it.
If you accept bad behavior time and again because you love somebody it is unhealthy to you and the person you love.
Unconditional love is not a feeling. Unconditional love is an emotion that becomes action. To love someone unreservedly means you want the best for him or her. This means you can’t ignore bad behavior. The person you love must understand the bad behavior and its consequences are his or her responsibility.
If you are under the misconception you have to keep accepting bad behavior in order to show your love then you and your partner are in need of counseling. Rather than being in a relationship of unconditional love you are in a relationship of enablement. You are enabling your partner to continue with bad behavior because you are overlooking it.
In order for unconditional love to be healthy it must be beneficial to both partners.