Moving Out Of The Flat You Shared With Your Boyfriend
Dealing with a breakup is an emotional experience. It is common to go through anger, regret, sadness and grief, and it can be a long process to get over a broken relationship. If the two of you live together, there are even more issues to resolve, often very logical ones involving money and the lease. It’s important that you move out as soon as possible so you can begin to heal and start your new life. It may be costly, but it’s something that should not be put off.
Don’t put off moving out if you have nothing lined up yet. Stay with one of your friends or family members and put your stuff in storage until you find something. Get out and look right away, and you may be lucky and find a nice flat in the neighborhood you want.
Since you are the one moving out, arrange to get all your stuff when your ex is not going to be home. You want to avoid a possible volatile confrontation or even worse, fall into a reconciliation even though you know it will be the worst thing for both of you. As hard as it is to spend some time there, pack your things yourself to be sure that you get everything, and if the breakup is acrimonious, it may help your belongings from getting destroyed as revenge.
Now that everything is packed, be sure to line up friends to help you move or better yet hire some movers to be there at a time he will not. You don’t need to create a stressful situation with him unnecessarily. If your ex thinks he should be there to be sure that you aren’t taking anything you shouldn’t and you’re leaving everything in good shape, ask a friend to accompany you to keep confrontation to a minimum.
Another thing you will have to deal with is any money issues the two of you may have. If you owe any rent, or your share of the utilities, make sure you pay your bills as soon as possible. If you have any deposit money that may be forthcoming, try to work it out that he either sends you a check or you get the deposit back when he leaves. If you have bought any furniture or electronics together, decide on how you are going to handle splitting the stuff up. You may need an impartial party to negotiate for you if the environment is too hostile. If you and he have combined finances in a bank account, try to work it out as diplomatically as possible. Again, you may need a third party to help you.
After you are out of the flat, although you may be distressed about the breakup, look at moving out as a chance to start a new life. Though you need time to get over things, a positive spin on the new move will help you deal with any stresses you may face.