When to Move On From a Go-Nowhere Relationship
In order for a relationship to thrive and be healthy for the long-term, a couple needs to want the same thing from that relationship. For some couples, they’re happy just to date while keeping their own separate homes or apartments and may never have plans to move in together. This may work for both of them so there’s no need to change. Other couples may move in together but never marry and may keep some parts of their life separate, such as maintaining separate finances and even taking the occasional separate vacation.
For other couples however, the direction of the relationship can be a struggle. You may want more of a commitment from your boyfriend than it seems as if he’s willing to give, and you may have been patient with him for some time but are starting to question if it’s time to move on. How do you know when you’re stuck in a go-nowhere relationship and how do you know when it’s time to break up and start with someone else?
The first thing to consider is if you really have given your boyfriend enough time to make the type of commitment you expect, or if you’re simply being impatient or pushy. Some women have an absolute plan for their lives and how it will proceed or may know more about their own expectations for the future than other people might, and it’s unfair to simply demand your boyfriend be on the same schedule or timetable as you. This is especially true if you’ve been dating for less than a year, as he may still be getting to know you and deciding if you’re someone with whom he wants to spend the rest of his life.
If you’ve thought honestly about this and feel that you have given him enough time and that your relationship is not headed in the right direction, or doesn’t seem to be maturing or becoming deeper overall, then you might want to talk to him. Your boyfriend may not even realize that you two are on different pages when it comes to your relationship. Men can sometimes overlook signals sent out by their girlfriends, so don’t just drop hints or get frustrated because he doesn’t make changes; talk to him directly and express how you feel and what you want, and then listen to his response.
When you know that your relationship truly is not going anywhere and won’t get you want you want out of life, then you do need to move on. You may hesitate to do this because your relationship is comfortable and safe, but think of where you’ll be a year from now and five years from now. Isn’t it better to invest that time in finding a new relationship that will work for you rather than holding on to one that truly isn’t going anywhere?