Your Teen Confesses to a One-Night Stand on New Year’s Eve
Hearing your child confess to a one-night stand on New Year’s Eve can be painful for a parent; it means your child is no longer a child, that they may be sexually active overall, and that they may have done something they’re not proud of with someone they hardly know. As a parent you may be tempted to explode in anger or to just shut them out without any reaction. Neither extreme is a good idea, so consider some better ideas of how you as a parent should respond.
The first thing to do is consider your child’s physical health. If they had a one-night stand, they may have been drunk and if so, they may not have used protection. Unprotected sex can mean sexually transmitted diseases or pregnancy. It can be difficult to think of your daughter needing a pregnancy test, but if she is pregnant, it’s best to find out now so she can get medical attention and consider her options. Your teen should also be tested for sexually transmitted diseases and given an HIV/AIDS test. These things too are not pleasant, but they’re necessary so he or she can get medical treatment.
No matter the results of these tests, it’s good to take this opportunity to talk to your teens about the dangers of such sexual encounters. Many teens wrongly presume that HIV/AIDS is a thing of the past or that all sexually transmitted diseases can easily be treated with medication. AIDS is treatable but still very dangerous, and other sexually transmitted diseases can lead to infertility, blindness, and other very serious health complications. Don’t let your child think that these things cannot happen to him or her, as having unprotected sex is the leading cause of these diseases spreading and of unplanned pregnancies.
It’s also good to take the time to talk to them about the seriousness of sex. Having sex with someone is not like eating lunch with them; you make a connection with that other person, physically, mentally and emotionally. When that connection turns out to be just empty fun, it can be hurtful to both the boys and the girls. Often girls feel used and boys feel disconnected and shallow. Sex is certainly enjoyable and pleasurable but also very serious, and if your teens haven’t learned these things by now, this event gives you a good chance to talk to them about these issues.
You may also want to take a step back and think about your overall approach to parenting. If you’ve been too permissive, it’s time to be a bit stricter with your teen. If you’ve avoided talking to them about the dangers of casual sex, you may want to think of their safety and have those talks with them now.